As common as the phrase "love" is in our culture, love is not always an easy thing to feel. Why? Because loving people requires setting self aside momentarily and focusing our devotion, attention, and affection upon someone other than ourselves. Love is, above all things, unselfish. And most of us are more self-centered than we care to admit.

Still, it is relatively easy to feel love compared to how difficult it is for many to express theirs. I always believe that love is rooted in giving, and giving is most fulfilling if that which one gives is received. Does the possibility that we might not receive what we desire to give, makes us vulnerable? Of course vulnerability carries with it the possibility of rejection, and in that, embarrassment and an emotional sting. For many people, love goes unexpressed because love carries this risk. These people rarely know great moments of joy, because they fear the possibility of pain.

Way back in 2004, I had the pleasure of discussing this topic with one Zizi Ezlina. This evening, I made a fortunate discovery by accident - an archive of our MSN text conversation. My beautiful niece was barely 17 then, but she was already exhibiting all the distressing sign of growing up with a tremendous potential to mix up the meaning of love in its true essence.

Being acknowledged as her favorite uncle is very flattering indeed, but I do not take “me too” for an answer when I said "I love you." - Not from this 17 years old. Not from a girl that I pedaled to school when she was just 7. Not from my cherubic mascot. Then, ever so obliging, I would cycle her right through the school compound among her congregating friends - her assembly of lawful juveniles. Just like Erin now, Adek was flaunting me then. Of course Adek was flaunting me then all for a reason that she knew best, but Erin is flaunting me now all for a reason that I know best. I am Erin's complete package - a papa, a movie star and a celebrity. What's fine by Erin is fine by me; howsoever her friends chose to repackage me.

Surely "LOVE" is an easy word to spell. What had me worried then was her obstinately unyielding perception against expressing her feelings, love, devotion, or affection. I realized what an incomplete view she has of the word. The archive chronicled an hour-long session that tested our will in the battle of persistence. Obviously, her keyboard was deficient of all the necessary consonants and vowels to spell "I love you too."

I happen to come from a family bloodline that does not yield easily. My problem was, she too came from the same bloodline. I refused to let her set the rules and limits. She refused to allow me to dictate the pace of the play and govern the match. Finally at 1.15am, the tilt of the game changed. I realized one thing - she has what I don't, and I have what she doesn't. She has to sleep, she has to go to school, she has homework to do, she has test to take, she has exams to prepare for, and SHE HAS TO LOG OUT sooner or later. I on the other hand, I have what she doesn't - I have all the time in the world than all the clocks put together.

When she tried hard to wrench herself forcibly away from the topic and every step vanquished her effort, she at last relented with "I love you too Uncle." Equivocally or unequivocally expressed, coming from this Little Miss Muffet, it was worth the weight in gold.

I simply refuse to allow her to grow up to be a miserable person. I will not accept whining or any whimper of despairing hopelessness. I won't listen to any mournful sound of a leaking vascular. I just want to see a happy face, and more importantly, a happy woman above all else. At 20, she is now able to express love freely in the language that I can understand. And the good news for me is that there is no more rewarding enterprise on the face of this earth than to love and be loved by this child.

If I can leave behind a legacy to remember me by, I just want to remind all in my family to 'always' give unselfishly. Don't ever confuse the feeling of love with the fact of love. As a matter of fact, love is more than a feeling. And the fact is, many a time, love runs deeper than words. So I say, "let's love each and love all." But if we don'’t have love that runs deeper than words, don't let our word runs faster than love. Stop the unnecessary gossips. Gossips can hurt feelings.

As for all the nieces in my family, my edict remains never to be tampered with. That - All women in the family, after my generation, shall remain the sole and good keeper of their own chastity. Within the bounds of safe sex and morality, chastity must be seen to be protected until the age of puberty or menopause; whichever is later. The word puberty herein implies an age of 30 years or after, and chastity herein refers to virginity. You shall not, willfully or otherwise compromise your chastity or break your virginity before the stipulated age - NOT EVEN IN INSTALMENT!

"Virginity is like a bubble; one PRICK all gone" – Confucius

Your virginity can only be broken once. Just don't go breaking one at will, or one too soon. And if you have to protect it, please don't protect it forever. I don't want to see an OLD MAID in the family. Trust me, I've seen it all, I've heard it all...I just don't want to imagine at all.