What accounts for this outpouring of venom about a woman which, when all is said and done, remains just a tiny speck in our lives? The answer is rather simple. I am not about to allow anyone in Klaz, myself included, to be made a convenient scapegoat for a deeper crisis of confidence which now grips her life.

This woman may have a diabolic plot of her own, but in http://www.sircumalot.multiply.com/ and http://www.jollyjack.blogspot.com/, I will show her that I am far from being grounded. No matter how desperate she seemed or how low she had stooped or how wild some of her allegations may have been, I will turn around an adverse situation and continue to put her under siege and, like it or not, I intend to expose the character of this wicked woman to the light of day.

Here, I append below a posting I once made in my private chamber. Read through if you have to; or don’t if you don’t want to. If you don’t already know, the identity of this woman will reveal itself. Klaz must come to terms that this is not a personal crusade for me. I am neither a defender of your rights nor a protector of your faiths. I am merely preserving my ‘maruah’ and that of my wives with a view that we could welcome a period of renewed hope to cope with the many adversities and distraction, not all of which are of our own making. Just read and observe the following and this series will continue…

Colour Me Bad

We all know that purple is not a primary color. It does not possess a property, quality or ‘passion’ of color by which it can be perceived as its own product. The color is a product of mix and match, and the absence of its own hue makes the color lacks ‘brightness’. A color is a color by its hue; but if it’s made of only ‘hue and cry’, the passion and the character of its color is but a somber hue.

So you do not write to GOD. So you do not play board game. And by your own admission, you are also stupid. So how the F***K is that my problem!! I couldn’t have agreed more with your dad (may Allah blessed his soul) – “if you have nothing intelligent to say, you better not say anything at all.” Unfortunately, you pay no heed to good and priceless advice. You should have listened more to him than to yourself.

Some people are wise, and some people are otherwise. There is a difference between wisdom and stupidity you know. Just so that you understand, wise men talk because they have something to say; fools like you, because they have to say something. In your futile attempt to absolve yourself against any wrong, you rattled and rambled so incoherently. What a tangled web you weaved, when you practice just to deceive. For quite a while you sounded like you are one third of “The Three Stooges.” All said and done, you stopped short of addressing the issue that is central to Ziehan’s entry dated 13nth Dec 2006. Denial is the first access to the truth, and the absence of which constitutes a clear admission of guilt.

If you had read Ziehan’s entry with a clear conscience, you would not have rambled like an idiot. Under normal circumstances, I don’t make it my practice to argue with idiots. They have this natural ability to drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. When you tried so hard to be smart and act innocent all at the same time, what was visible for all to see was the two fools in you collide. It is the nature of guilt to make people lie and cheat, to hide the truth to their very best, to cut all friendships and enmities to the measure of their own interest, and to make a good countenance without the help of good will. If there is any vestige of humility, come clean, come good and liberate yourself from that ‘The Temple Of Your Doom’ – you are no High Priest.

I know that I am not your only friend. Perhaps I never was. The rights to express one’s self in one’s own space is our liberty that we do not surrender under any circumstances. That I beg to agree with you in totality. BUT other than that, you are a load of nonsense. Ziehan have said before that we have no qualms about people coming in and out of our space. A matter of fact, we have people from far and away who frequented us like an honorary patron. They are so religious that they even vowed to patronize us until they drop dead. It’s a free world – of course there is nothing criminal about reading. But what do you call those who intruded upon us with mischief in mind? Those that hide behind their keyboard, impersonating an identity to operate malice and disparaging comments? Have I not take my critics well? I could have deleted all the disparaging comments and banned the IP addresses – but I did not. Sometimes, some things make beautiful telling; it adds a dash of color to a page. But when one continues to transgress beyond the bounds of propriety with an absolute disregard for ethics, you compromised with the limit of our tolerance.

You must have had a ball of a time thinking that I will not respond to you. Here, not only will I respond to you, I will also compartmentalize the issue in question. Please know that you shall never have the last say, and for as long as you are the merchant of that insidious character; and for that ill intent that you tried to inflict upon Ziehan and I, I will not spare you the privilege of tact and diplomacy.

And then you professed your love for your friends and questioned my loyalty for them. You even asked if I have any friends at all. If you must know, I have more friends in my life than you could ever have life in your friends. If its hard for you to comprehend the context of this sentence, all you need to do is ‘semak 2’ your mailbox, refer to that email that you sent to Klaz dated 17 Aug 2006 where with callous indifference you called your friends ‘mayat mayat yang bernyawa’. Hence I will say it again - I have more friends in my life than you could ever have life in your friends. In your own wonderful world, you are your own beautiful people. There is this smugness about you that leaves me with enough to believe that you are an incorrigible narcissist.

I have never pushed my friends aside like you have suggested, and I certainly don’t intend to. Why should I? The value and respect that I have for them is priceless. It’s only you that I have little concession for if not none at all. While it’s true that I sometimes took a swipe at Klaz, I have nothing against them at all. I do not hide behind my keyboard nor do I mince my words. But there was never and occasion that I wrote about Klaz making inferences in a derogatory form. Where and when credit is due, I also wrote a tribute to Klaz. So just do not make a mention about something that you think you can conveniently use to champion and facilitate your own course. It must have been painful enough an experience for you to be stabbed in the back by some friends. For all its intent and purpose, they must have a very good reason for that. Whether or not you deserved it of course is another question. If you love me still like you said you do, you are going to love me even more as a friend now – because today I will stab you in the front. Remember that Oscar Wilde once said “A true friend stabs you in the front.”

Now that you have said enough to painfully demonstrate at length to convince others if not yourself that purple is virtue, you might want to walk with me down memory lane and slap yourself in the face – left, right and center!

Before you want to adjudge others, let us go through these chronicle of events and together we evaluate its fair values.

The Rise And Fall Of Klaz 78:

31st May 2005 – Was it not you who wrote in Klaz website “I being myself, looking at it from my point of view, see myself building the bridge and closing the gap of the missing years since 1978

“For me, this is a brand new friendship, found and brought home by……………………., something I never experience while I was in school”

30th Dec 2005 – Was it not you who also wrote to Klaz “As moderator and owner of this group, I have decided base on my judgement, to disintegrate this Klaz78 effective 10 Jan 2006…………………… 27 years ago, in school I hardly knew any one of you, and it sadden me today, as I am leaving this Klaz, that I do not not any one of you any better. But that is the choices that I have made…………….. If I do not hear from anybody, I will continue to delete and disintegrate Klaz78.”

6th Jan 2006 – you celebrated your decision to disintegrate Klaz with an email captioned “yeahhhhh….!!!” And you rejoiced your decision to disintegrate Klaz with a threat of a countdown. And was it not you who wrote… “the countdown just begun.”

Crisis Management:

You tried to mediate a crisis between Ziehan and Dinz. You made us all believed that you have the principal, conviction, respectability and impartiality of a good leader. For a moment you assumed that responsibility well enough. Was it not you who wrote….

20th Sept 2005 – “….kita tegur menegur biar lah dengan baik,,,dan perkara perkara private kita cakapkan ajer kat talipon, ...call...!!!kata korang semua mengaku kawan....”

In a strange twist of event, you did not observe that same decorum. Was it not you who also wrote….

4th Jan 2006 – “pd Lisa Mose & Azizah ni saya nak beritau...tak perlu bermanis manis di hadapan saya, perbuatan kamu membuat saya mual & muak peri laku kamu tidak seindah bicara kamu manis kamu cuma di tepi bibir………… Din, kalau nak tambah, jgn tambah sikit sikit....nak tambah banyak banyak lagi baguss....kita semua dah banyak berdosa. pd diri sendiri jgn di tambah tambah lagi berdosa ngan org lain hitung dan conggak sendiri tepuk dada tanya buah dada jgn nak kental buah cherri.………… dan email ni jgn kamu semua sebar satu Klaz....”

Question: If it was not meant for Klaz but you sent to most, what the hell were you talking about?

The Day I Lost All Respect For You:

25th April 2006 - Klaz was shocked by the news of a death. A friend’s father in-law passed away and the following SMS messages ensued. Was it not you who wrote…

You: “Dear all, pls do not ask me to
1) sampaikan salam
2) sampaikan takziah
3) kirim kirim selawat
4) go to the funeral with u. Bcosam not going. U can ctc azizah”

Me: “Dear all, if we don’t have what it takes to do what is morally right, just stop behaving like an adult with the trappings of a 6 years old mentality. Salam sejahtera untuk semua.”

You: “U sending tis 2 all? Or jus to me? Or u want me to forward tis on yr behalf too? U pun mcm azizah juga? Kata u all kengkawan, apasal tak simpan kawan2 nyer nbrs?”

Me: “Not to worry… I have all their numbers. It’s the need to be petty that I don’t have. If comparing me to Azizah is a compliment, then I accept it with thanx. But if you have an idea that is otherwise, lets muhasabah diri masing2.”

You: “I state my mind clear to all. I dun want to be answering to evri queries, which I dun hv time to answer, and on the 1st place am forwarding cos azizah your gud fren, ask for my help. And wattaF* I get? Well, only got myself to blame, shd ask her to tell evri1 herself. Btw, what is morally rite? U care2 xplain?”

Me: “Of course I care to explain BUT only to those that care to listen. Which attributes in my opinion you do not possess.”

You: “ Ya u r rite, I dun pocess yr attribution, n I dun hv time to listen to insult aft months of not talking to anyone fm k78. I only do what is rite for me. Perhaps u can teach yr other friends those attributions so they’ll turn out fine jus like u. Count me out.

Me: “I find it rather strange that you consider teguran yang baik as an insult. Especially when I did not use the term F** like u did. I don’t have to teach anyone to share my attributes. I will leave the teaching to the teachers and the F***ing to the F***ers. And that need not necessarily be us.”

The Crux Of The Matters

Was it not you who called on Ziehan during the early period of my relationship with her to warn her about me? How do you qualify yourself to tell someone whom you knew not about someone else whom you knew not either? If it was just by words of mouth that you knew me, what did that make you?

Was it not you who wrote just recently “Pi sanjung orang orang yg terdekat...lagi baik.…….. Aku doa kan kebahagian kau lagiii arrr..Mana kau tau, tu semua? Kau nak mabuk bercinta, kau punya sukalah, bagus lah tu...”

Question: How can you try to prevent a relationship and be happy for us at the same time? You must be absolutely mental to think that I am the one who are confused.

Finally, the matter that matters most – Was it not you who just recently established communication with someone whom you know not just so that you can play a cameo role in a crisis that didn’t even involve you.

Now that I’m done, you can go seek solace in GOD or bleed to death. Somewhere, somehow if someone were to ask me “WHY”, I will answer with a deep feeling of regret “YOU ASK FOR IT”.