I am HIM

I am Sir CumALot to some
Jazz to many
JACK to all the sparrows.
That I am EZ...
I am not that difficult.
Jazz is not the music
Jazz is the name.

Hometown : The Sweet Fragrant Meadows of Ezie Jazz
Interest : "Sex In The City" with "Desperate Housewives"

"Eternity is not our divine right, Work like you don't need the money.Love like you have never been hurt before. Dance like nobody is watching. Sing like nobody is listening, And live like there is no tomorrow...Down to terrorism, Damn the bastards, Peace for all and ZIE for ME..."
EZ Jazz




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Friday, October 20, 2006

[::..Under Your Tree I Sit.....::]


Continue from “Love Conquers All” (3rd October 2006)….

Love is the way you look at me; the way I look back. It's a feeling people try to find, but when they are least expecting it, it finds them. Love is hard at times, but it is always there. You feel it, day in and day out. You yearn for someone more than yourself... that's love. Between Ziehan and I, we experienced it in no other different forms of essence than any man on the street. Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have. A rose is a rose; by any other name, the fragrant is just as sweet. There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. Ziehan and I allowed ourselves to explore our passion beyond the conventional wisdom of love. It has never been about Valentine day, candle light dinner or a bouquet of roses. Our feelings transcend beyond that. That of which where my safe habitat is to sit under her tree; under the tranquility of which, she inhabits that kingdom in my heart. Each of us literally chooses, by our way of attending to things, we never seek to vary how we love by day; and how it should remain unchanged by night.

If I had allowed all its complexities to interfere with my sense of judgment, I will live no bigger than those pretentious fools who thought that they have it all. Call it by any other names; if love is love, then love is love indeed. There’s no need to lose one’s equilibrium. The beauty and its passion is such an experience. It is not a fixed pattern or an arrangement of features. It is something felt, a glow or a communicated sense of fineness. Only what ails us sometime is that our sense of judgment and interpretation can be so bruised and blunted, we miss all the best.

Ziehan’s beauty only captured my eyes; her personality captured only my attention, but it was her sincerity that captured my heart and conquered all. We courted each other with all that matters. Anything under the sun, everything under her tree to the kingdom from the bottom of my heart - from West Coast Park to One Fullerton, from late night phone calls to late night movies, poems and poetries, we gave each other what we felt best…We Love. Be that it was March; come April or COME WHAT MAY… no science would ever be able to reduce the value of our love to its nearest decimal arithmetic. Nor could it translate our feelings for each other into formula. Laughter and love, the challenge of joy and happiness: these will always surpass the scientific mastery of nature.

We all live in a wonderful world that is full of love, affection and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our open hearts. I'm tired of all this nonsense about love being blind. If only we could behold love through the eye of the mind, that's good enough.

When Ziehan and I first met, it might have been a matter of chance. Destiny soon made it a matter of choice. After twenty-seven years in oblivion, the feeling between us is not a thing to be waited for; love is the only thing to be achieved. It’s probably the only chance to do it right. If you ever get a second chance in life to love someone like Ziehan, you've got to go all the way and journey into the beyond. Odd as it sounds, I had since sentenced myself to life with Ziehan because of what she has done for me as a human being, a man, a husband and a papa.

“Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past, what to enjoy in the present, and what to plan for in the future” - Captain Jack Sparrow


To Be Continued….

All Work and No Play Will Make Jazz A Dull Boy - 4:35:00 PM


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

[::.."Untuk Mu Ibu"..::]


You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be --
I had a mother who cried with me.

Every man has his secret sorrows, which the world knows not; oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad. Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more courage to know when to let go and then do it. Alas, I am still grieving with so much pain. I held on and hung in there once before with a believe. So what good is great strength when my only courage was merely deception born out of the great fear to let go? “All daring and courage, all iron endurance of misfortune makes for a finer and nobler type of manhood” so says an English dictum. All so true only if the pain is ours alone to suffer…so says I. As in the physical world, so in the spiritual world, I used to believe that pain does not last forever. All that change now when she left me with no mother to call out for.

For forty-four years I know not of any other hands that rocked my cradle. That very same hands that I held in mine when you sought comfort in sharing those deep dark secrets of your pain. How could I not sense your fear, how could I not fear for your pain; and how could it not pain me to feel you suffer. You taught me that death is nothing to be feared; it is merely a stage of transition. The gift of life, for all the effort and pain it involves, is too beautiful and precious for us to grow tired of it. But what’s real was those many nights I spent by your side; those nights that you agonized for a wink of sleep, those nights that we cried together because your pain was yours alone to suffer, those nights that I could do no right to ease your discomfort nor could I do no more to comfort your misery, those night that you made me promise to save you from the surgical scalpel of your impending bypass operation; and that very night – against my will, I relented. When you left the hospital, I pretended like I knew nothing of it. That you have a date with destiny, I am only too aware. I once had a hope that you could help me relived that glorious childhood; those that you cherished with so much loves, cared with so much respects and raised with so much tenderness that I never would want to outgrow. That hope now is but a broken dream. On the early Tuesday morning of 25th July 2006, just the way you had wanted it, I wasn’t there to see you off. Fearless, you embarked on your painless journey and left us all.

Some are able to release grief far more quickly than others. However long it takes, it is always the re-connection with the power of the heart that moves you past grief. It becomes a matter of how soon you want the sun to shine. Listening to the still, small voice in my heart, I still call for you Mak. Your heart is a deep abyss at the bottom of which I can always find love, forgiveness and guidance. I know not of any other mother other than you – that it was the most convenient choice of escape from the burden of your sufferings, I can only grieves in prayers that you’d be there around me at any time that I may need you most.

They say that man is mighty,
He governs land and sea;
He wields a mighty scepter
Over lesser powers that be;
But the hand that rocks my cradle
Is the hand that rules my world.

If there is one thing that we could do together now, I want to cry again with you. And if the choice was up to me, I wish I’d died before you and may God grant me a comeback as one of your tears. What son would be so lucky as to have been conceived from your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die at your lips. That no longer being the case now, I shall brace myself to my calling, and so bear myself that if God grants me a thousand years to live, I will still say: “I shared my finest hours with you.”

All Work and No Play Will Make Jazz A Dull Boy - 11:25:00 PM


Saturday, October 14, 2006

[::..My Secret Chamber..::]

My MTV CRIB
The POLTRONA Chasis Lounge
My HALL OF FAME
Where Ez Does The JAZZ

All Work and No Play Will Make Jazz A Dull Boy - 3:10:00 AM


Thursday, October 12, 2006

[::.."MONEYMATTERS" @HJH. MAIMUNAH..::]


All you can eat at $11.50 per head. Affordable? YES. Cheap? MAYBE. Worth it? I DON”T THINK SO. With all the promises you can find in the two-page menu, you’ll probably eat only half the page. I don’t care much about what I eat nowadays. Give me nothing and I’ll eat nothing. Give me a Coke with a Marlboro and I say THANK GOD. Gluttony being one of the seven sin, I don’t live to eat but simply eat to live.

With money to spend and stomach to eat, Ziehan and Mariam were women on a mission. Flanked by these two lovelies, no man could have been more decorated than me. We all planned our trip by the simple rule – He who has a ‘why’ can endure any ‘how’. On a Ramadhan evening at Geylang, amidst the swelling throng of human traffic, the idea was to eat anywhere at anyhow. But somewhere along the route across Joo Chiat Complex, “HJH. MAIMUNAH” beckoned. Ziehan and Mariam were salivating on the ‘lemak pucuk ubi’ and the ‘siput sedut.’ By then, I couldn’t do anything much. Here’s to the two women! Would that I could fall into their arms without falling into their hands.

From one of anything to all of everything that money can buy, her buffet spread promised a ‘roti kirai’ that I did not see, a ‘kueh lapis’ that I did not get to taste and a ‘bubor kacang’ that I ended up giving to one pathetic looking Mak Cik whose sole purpose there was to stare me in the face like I’m her late husband - reincarnated. Not that the $11.50 per head matters much to me. I don’t care too much for the money. It’s better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money. But if you equate the $11.50 into simple fraction, however average a layperson this “HJH. MAIMUNAH” may be, her grasp of high finance consists of knowing the right recipes to navigate through the stomachs of the ‘Hungry Ghosts.”

Figure this out – A table for 3 @HJH. MAIMUNAH costs us a grand total of $35.00 (GST inclusive but drinks sold separately). At $11.50 per head, Ziehan would eat all that she could, and Mariam could eat all that she would. I would only eat what I could; but what I couldn’t, I wouldn’t. I am not as good a ‘coulder’ as Ziehan could, nor a better ‘woulder’ as Mariam would. But for the money that was paid, and all that we could eat between us, we were only eating the same things 3 times over; and over the same things - 3 times over. This equation however works better on bigger multiples. Meaning to say that if Ali walks in with Abu, Ah Seng, Muthu, John, Ah Kow, Ah Lian, Ah Beng, Din and Mainah, they would have to pay between them a total of $120.75 (GST inclusive but drinks still sold separately). And for this amount of money and all that they could eat between them; just like us, they would be eating the same things ONLY 10 times over; and over the same things - 10 times over. GET IT?? GET IT???

@HJH. MAIMUNAH, the festival of the hungry ghosts may have started at least forty-five minutes before the break of dusk. There goes a saying “An early bird catches the worms.” By the time we were there, they beat us to almost everything. There was no ‘roti kirai’, no ‘kueh lapis’ and of course no worms also by then. As a matter of value-for- money, whatever that these early birds could lay their hands on, to feed through their mouths for the satisfaction of their stomachs, they rush for the kill. Before the break of dusk, even the tissue papers seem delectable. It’s ironic to see how they practice enough faith to protect themselves against all sins for the day, only to liberate the moment of their victories with lustful indulgence.

Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Amidst the throngs of all its madness, I was there with only Ziehan and Mariam to cater to; and to provide for. The first trip may have been quite extravagant; but generosity is all about giving more than you can-to those that you care, and pride is taking less than you need. Maybe next time we’ll eat @SALMAH MANAP and buy my baju kurung @HJH. MAIMUNAH.

My Damage Report:-

Transportation (To/Fro): $50.00 (comes with free Nokia handphone)
HJH. MAIMUNAH 35.00 (GST inclusive but drinks sold separately)
Murtabak 10.00 (F**k the Mak Cik that cuts Zie’s queue)
SALMAH MANAP 100.00 (butang not included)
Vadeh 5.00 (Red Hot Chilli Pepper inclusive)
Carpet 250.00 (good to look at and nice to step on)
K800i plastic cover FREE (STOLEN)

GRAND TOTAL: $HAPPINE$$.00

All Work and No Play Will Make Jazz A Dull Boy - 2:41:00 AM


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

[::..Love Conquers All..::]


Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration. But for as long as you have a heart that never hardens, give unselfishly, love tirelessly with a touch that never hurts, then fear not the darkness for your candle will burn an eternal flame. There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer; no disease that enough love will not heal; no door that enough love will not open; no gulf that enough love will not bridge; no sin that enough love will not redeem. It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble; how hopeless the outlook; how muddled the tangle; how great the mistake. A sufficient realisation of love will dissolve it all. Love may hurt a little sometime, or sometime may even hurt a lot. Love is after all a fire. Whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. But if we allow ourselves to fear the trappings of pain, then love will not conquers all. Sometime back in the early March of 2005, Ziehan and I were both struck by Cupid's arrow. It was painless...And we can swear by that.

I am a strong believer of fate. I believe that if it's meant to be, then it's destined to be. I could have been born any other man than I am right now; be that I am the "Prince Of Egypt," "Shrek, " or "The Pirate Of the Caribbean," I will live to die not sparing the highest mountain nor the deepest sea in search for she who holds the key to "The Dead Man's Chest." Like Adam, I would rather live outside the Garden Of Eden with my "Eve" than to be inside without her. We did not fall in love by a sudden burst of coincidence or by the malfunctioned polarity of gravity. As fate would have it, we fell in love according to plan as chronicled by God in his master textbook. One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love. As for me, if I have to drown in the deepest sea, I'll drown myself with Zie in me. The whole business of love after all is to drown in the sea.

Time is too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love, time is eternity
.

To Be Continued...


All Work and No Play Will Make Jazz A Dull Boy - 3:59:00 AM


Monday, October 02, 2006

[::..Jamie From The BLOG..::]


Angels at the foot,
And Angels at the head,
And like a curly little lamb
My pretty babe in bed.

This is Annur Ain Jamiemah. She called herself Ain. Others called her Jamie. But I called her Jamiemotts. My Lil’ Miss Jamiemotts came over last night and stayed up almost until midnight. She bunked about the house like a bundle of energy, whizzing around almost dusting every corners of my unit. Jamiemotts can be very territorial especially of her kingdom in Nana Zie and Ya Ummi. Like her mummy, she got called up too. Jamie is a cabin crew by day and a property agent by night.

If I were to look at myself from the eyes of Jamiemotts, I must have been the most handsome man in the world. Vice versa, from my eyes, she is indeed my most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. Her daddy however, is a police bedek.

Jamiemotts: Dodok handsome
Dodok: Thank you… Jamie cantik
Jamiemotts: Thank you…Dodok handsome
Dodok: Thank you…Jamie cantik
Jamiemotts: Thank you…Dodok handsome
Dodok: Thank you…Jamie cantik
Jamiemotts: Thank you…Dodok handsome
Dodok: Thank you…Jamie cantik

I kid you not. The girl got taste.

Inset is a picture taken of Jamiemotts with my new K800i. Do not adjust your PC monitor. The artwork is a product of the cybershot picture editing software that is integrated in my new K800i. Call me crazy or call me handsome…BUT I own the bragging right for now. Until I buy myself a newer phone, go look for a cheap spot to play with your cheap shot.

Jamiemotts: Dodok handsome
Dodok: Thank you… Jamie cantik
Jamiemotts: Thank you…Dodok handsome
Dodok: Thank you…Jamie cantik
Jamiemotts: Thank you…Dodok handsome
Dodok: Thank you…Jamie cantik
Jamiemotts: Thank you…Dodok handsome
Dodok: Thank you…Jamie cantik

All Work and No Play Will Make Jazz A Dull Boy - 7:11:00 AM


Sunday, October 01, 2006

[::..To Better Today, To Better Tommorrow..::]


Life is mostly froth and bubble, but two things stand like stone, kindness in another’s trouble and courage in your own. Klaz Of 78 was to be our time tunnel. Our secret chamber to integrate among men and mice of yesterday, with an objective of bridging a more cohesive ‘today’ between them. I think Ziehan and I were there more for our better tomorrow. We were inducted into this ‘committee’ to help put to plan a grand initiative to re-unite the old folks of YISS ’78. By the power vested in us, this ‘committee’ proposes and disposes at wills. Because this noble idea of a reunion was first mooted by certain individuals, the leaderships of this ‘committee’ were assumed by its ‘Founding Father’ and his ‘Mother Nature.’ Being just an ordinary member of the common people, my convention was solely Ziehan. In this ‘committee’, the greater public has no voice in regard to the appointment of its member into their mini parliament. Neither ‘AY’ nor ‘NAY’… the discretion to select the committee’s ‘committee’ was more often decided by few on a Tête-À-Tête basis. Whatever happens to ‘Consensus Ad Idem’?

It first started as an idea. Then there was this objective. Then came the grand plan. Then all the excitement. Then there were hopes…NOW there’s nothing. When Columbus started out he didn’t know where he was going; when he got there he didn’t know where he was; and when he got back he didn’t know where he had been. By this metaphoric comparison, there might have been a similarity between that of Klaz and its ‘committee’, and Columbus and his crews. Lest we forget, history acclaimed him as the first man to have discovered that the earth is round. Twenty-seven years after we all left school, Klaz discovered that the world is rounder. The ‘committee’ bred many birds of the same feather; and other than flocking together, they flew round and around in small circle.

For every meeting Klaz convened, it was always for a very good reason. Of course that reason became better than good for Ziehan and I. Moment by moment, it was a prelude that attached a secret recipe between us. It was to be our playground where we flirted each other with fortuitous glances and naughty text messages. A dangerous liaison indeed to the conservatives, but if democracy has a better meaning in its literal sense, then we were both falling in love by our very own vote of confidence. They are all ill discoverers that they think there is no land, when they see nothing but sea.

The love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay. Love isn’t love until you give it away. Oscar Wilde once wrote, “They do not sin at all who sin for love.” I have said to her more than once before that if loving her is wrong, then I never want to be right. The very philosophy of love and life that she too embraces with fortified resolve. It was at West Coast By The Park that she professed her love with such courage and conviction. We both knew then that our journey of a thousand miles had just begun with our first step; a day at a time. From our forgotten past to our most recent yesterdays, we packed it along with us lock, stock and barrel; and we did not leave anything behind. For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision, but today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Ziehan has been monumental in my life, a shrine above all. If I can manifest my love for her beyond more than words can say, I will give her an ‘erection’ bigger than Taj Mahal. The relationship still endures snide opinion from them whose lives might have taken some beatings themselves. When it’s easier to just live and let live, the opinionated few can’t live with the fact, and made our business theirs to patronize. Have they not lived in an atmosphere that was so polluted by haze, created by fires that they didn’t even start? I believe that most of you did at one point in time of your life or another. But because health was not a matter of that critical importance to you, it wasn’t good enough a reason to drop and die.

I’m not so sure now if it was Einstein or me who formulated the theory in relation to the relativity of time and those idiots behind it.

If A equals success, then the formula is A=X+Y+Z+U, where X is “work,” Y is “play,” and Z is “mine,” then U just “keep your mouth shut.”


To Be Continued….

All Work and No Play Will Make Jazz A Dull Boy - 8:55:00 PM