To The Most Benevolent,
The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful,

Private And Confidential

Dear GOD,

Forgive me for I have sinned. So I heard that you do not listen to my prayers anymore. Hence I am left with a limited recourse but to write to you. As I humble myself before your most esteemed authority, I seek a moment of your time for your most divine guidance.

Many people hold onto a grudge because it offers the illusion of power and a perverse feeling of victory. But in fact, we are all held hostage by our anger. If it is up to you, it is always never too late to forgive. But I can’t forgive too soon though none have sought for one. I am especially wary of those who hide behind the cover of their veil believing themselves to be the keeper of your holy scroll.

Sir, the whole world is in turmoil. I do know for a fact that you created the universe with a promise of its impending doom (KIAMAT). But you did not create only to rejoice your promise of its impending doom with a countdown – did you? If black is black and ‘PURPLE’ is the new white, how come I was never taught of this. Tell me O’ GOD that you have not ordained among us a new prophet.

Confusing as it was, it gets more complicated by the day. When you created monkeys and they made a monkey out of themselves, they are only too happy to be monkeys – Right? The fact that they are not endowed with brains, its fair then to assume that it’s their monkey business – Right? How then do you best explain those that you beautifully created among us, blessed them with the faculty of mind; and then only to become ‘ONDE’ and ‘Goreng Pisang’. Between you and I, we know the difference between bigamy and polygamy. You didn’t by any chance outlaw marriage – Did you Sir? Because if marriage is outlawed, then only outlaws will have in-laws. And I will have many unhappy ones.

I also just realized today that my late grandma was a philanthropist. She bequeathed a computer operating on a window ME to a pathetic loser long before she passed in 1819. Thanks to her, ‘ONDE’ is now operating on a ‘chip from the old block’; which happens to be a portal of a government department; which happens to be a misused; which if I happen to pursue my interest through the right authority; whatever can happen will happen.

Reason to rule but mercy to forgive: The first is the law, the last prerogative. Premature forgiveness is common among people to avoid conflict. I am not an advocate of hatred but I am afraid of my own anger. As your obedient servant, I will make beautiful what I love as I make holy what I believe. Just bless upon me the perseverance to endure and the endurance to persevere.

I hope that this letter reaches you in the strictest of confidence. Inevitably, I took the liberty to classify this letter as Private and Confidential to avoid those with literate deficiency from accusing me of writing to impress you.

Out of the night in the deepest sea,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever God gave me

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Lies but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how soon or late,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul

Yours truly,

Capt. Jack Sparrow


P/S If you happen to see my mum, give her my regards and send her my love. And please tell my Grandma that Microsoft had just launched a new WINDOW. It’s called ‘WONDE ME’.