MONO-POLY-GAMY is a game designed to help those with an inquisitive mind to stay relevant to the issues revolving around Jack and his Mistresses Of The Seven Seas. The game is not without its objective. The ideal of the plot is to play for the spoils of the points. All can play the game; but only one to win. You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try. This game was specifically designed to bring to your system - cost-free. You only need to have two dice and a functional brain. If you are a great believer in luck, you will find that the harder you try, the more you will have of it. If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. Then quit. No sense in being a damn fool in trying to win a game that you cannot rule.

About MONO-POLY-GAMY:

Jack Of The Seven Seas (herein refers to as Capt. Jack Sparrow) is the infamous Buccaneer who preyed the Seven Seas with such a predatory instinct during the early millennium era. His reign of terror soon found an ally in the form of a holy alliance with ‘Mary Of Romania’ (herein affectionately known as Mary Jazz) and ‘Ziehan Of The Caribbean’ (herein affectionately known as EZie Jazz). Between them they share an unequivocal vow of loyalty to preserve and to protect the sovereignty of their ‘Union’. Sworn to secrecy, both ‘Mary Of Romania’ and ‘Ziehan Of The Caribbean’ are the keepers of his faith and hold the keys to “The Secret Of The Black Pearl” and “The Dead Man’s Chest” respectively.

For the love of his Mistresses Of The Seven Seas, Capt. Jack suffers no fools and refuses to be taken prisoner by the jury of public opinion and the noisy convention of discontent. Capt. Jack rules his kingdoms and territories by proxies. He lives happy and loves unselfishly within the wilderness of the Seven Seas whether or not he ever sets foot in it. The wilderness where he seeks refuge even though he may never need to go there… He needs the possibility of escape as surely as he needs hope. Why wilderness? Because he likes the taste of freedom; because he likes the smell of danger. His only regret is that he has but one life to lose for two women.

A tide begins to surge beneath the calm surface of the ground that he walks on. The world soon hastens him toward he know not what, viewing him with contempt. Jack being Jack, he holds his nerve by a simple mantra… that he is “Jack of all trade; master of his own fate”.

In this game, Capt. Jack Sparrow will play for the spoils of the points. He will attempt to build a firm foundation from the bricks that others throw at him. This game of wills and wits both start out the same way. It may not necessarily be about winning; but practice makes perfect. The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle. Just play the game as you deem fit and fun, but do observe the first rule of holes: when you’re in one, stop digging.

System Requirement:

A fully functional brain, two dice and a ‘Window ME’.

Who Can Play The Game:

Sisters, uncles, aunties, cousins, cousin in-law, police officers, friends, in-laws, outlaws, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men.

The game can be played at any time of your convenience until such time I cease the operation of this website or until such time that you drop dead. Whichever comes first.

Board Configuration:

The game is played on an imaginary board of four equal sides. By 4-equal sides it means that the board is made up of a square – NOT circular, NOT rectangular, NOT triangular either. Just a square and nothing but a square…get it??

The dimension of the board varies according to the size of your own ego. It can be as small as any concrete cubicle that many of us live in, or as big as Jupiter - whatsoever you desire.

There are only two playable sides of the board. Now these playable sides are called ‘The Axis Of Evils’. Each side of this axis has its own battleground. Players can chose to launch or plot an invasion of privacy from either side of 'The Axis Of Evils'. Each side of this axis is known as:-

1. “Whose Line Is It Anyway”
2. “Chain Of Fools”

The non-playable sides are the so-called kingdoms that Capt. Jack rules by proxies. Herein will be referred to as “The Scent and Sensibilities Of Mary Jazz” and “The Sweet Fragrant Meadows Of EZie Jazz”. The sovereign right to which belongs to ‘Mary Of Romania’ and ‘Ziehan Of The Caribbean’ respectively.

The ‘Axis Of Evils’ must coordinate a position that is adjacent to each other by a 90deg angle. Once you have established this coordinated position, the rest of the board shall belong to ‘Mary Of Romania’ and ‘Ziehan Of The Caribbean’ and remain non-playable unless otherwise required by the rules of the game.

Central to the game, players must also play for the control of the center of the board where ‘The Sevens Seas’ are located. Dominion of which belongs to Capt. Jack Sparrow also known as “Jack Of The Seven Seas”. With only Capt. Jack to play against, it is imperative that players remember the name of all the seven seas. They are namely:-

1. SEA no evil, speak no evil.
2. SEA no touch.
3. SEAshell SEAshell at the SEA saw.
4. SEA so low at SEA lo soh.
5. SEA mie tai chi.
6. SEA buay siong.
7. lu kong SEA mie

The board also consists of four hemispheres located at the four corners of it. These hemispheres are known as :-

1. GO - This game of wills and wits both start out the same way. At every turn of this corner of the board players qualify for themselves 200 points.

2. DOMINION Of The Republic Of MOTHERland – This is about the only corner of the playable board that players can rule to dominate and manipulate.

3. THE PIRATE’S DUNGEON (also known as The Concrete Cubicle) – Players must play to avoid incarceration. If you are condemned by some strokes of misfortunes, you will eat, shit and die in here.

4. ROT OF THE LINKS – Do not confuse ROT OF THE LINKS with “Lord Of The Rings”. In the latter, the plot is for heroics. This corner of the board however will house all of the rotten links of the two “Axis Of Evils”. Herein they will be referred to as “Resident Evil”. In here, you will eat, shit, die and burn in hell.

The Objective Of The Game:

Other than the spoils of the points, the wills and wits of the game is to play PIRACY versus consPIRACY. Capt. Jack will play for PIRACY and leave the business of consPIRACY to the open board. You will have to notice that the difference that separates these two words is the word ‘cons’. In this game you will have to be as proud a conmen or conwomen as Jack will be as a pirate. The similarity between these nouns does not represent a similar meaning though. You do not call one who conspires a ‘conspirate’ – Do you?


Rules Of The Game will feature in the next entry.

To Be Continued….