If you can’t grow up or grow old gracefully, you can have my cake and eat it. I will let you play what you want; perhaps even grant you the coronation that you so desire. Whatever arguments that are probably true and eminently sensible to the neutral is not always about reason. People with no more than a few years left of their lives have the right to get the best possible deal for themselves. After all, it’s not as if we were all raised as children of the lesser God.

The intensity and bitterness of any rivalry, more often than not comes with a price. As always as any case may be, who gets to speak what, is the price of ruptured ego. We all know that rivalry spiced by visceral loathing makes for great spectacles. That’s why boxing fans still talk about the fight between Marvin ‘Marvellous’ Hagler and Tommy ‘The Hitman’ Hearns, which took, place 22 years ago. These fighters were not playing. They really detested each other and entered the ring with an appetite for destruction that produced three thrilling rounds of unforgettable savagery. It wasn’t for the faint hearted but it was the stuff of competition. It’s the gripping entertainment that has foreign speculators desperate to lay eyes on top stories. Be they bloody or bloodless duel, the great attraction unites people from the various shores of the different continents.

I believe that good and upright character must be demonstrated. It has to be observed and articulated in a manner of conduct that commands respect. If we are what we speak, then Confucius must be right to insist that language must be properly used if things are to get done, if justice is not to go astray and if people are not to ‘stand about in helpless confusion”. He disapproved of those who misused words to hide their true intentions and actions.

To my mind, there are many challenges in life, but the one that stands out most is that of having to balance the need for change with that of continuity. I could try to change from being “me” to the person I am not, or I could continue to be the person that I am not. Hence my confusion… when I try to be the person I am not, or continue to be the person that I am not, I become “YOU”.

In recent times, it has become usual to try to place the blame for the disintegrating state of family turmoil on my doorstep. This is a misunderstanding of the first order. Naturally, when one is confronted with unsolicited opinions, it produces a strong reaction in the form of a desire to engage. I am not prepared to negotiate my way through and around these differences. The love for Ziehan is among my strongest motivations known to me and have been at the foreground or background of practically every conflict that has ever been waged. Quite simply, I happened to be an advocate of my own constitution that encapsulates my rights, hopes and aspiration in a way that no other could relate. So you can give me one reason or ten thousands of it, your problems with the world affairs should remain yours in entirety, and I am not the cause of societal dystrophy.

I may be your one reason, but there could also be more than one reason that are privy to these conflicts. There may be a friend with questionable interest, others with ulterior motives; all with a common interest to partake a passive or active role in your play. I don’t care about the swings of your pendulum, what seems to be a reality is that individuals end up worse off when they act out of self-interest.

I am not sure if there are many who are deeply troubled, or many who are elated at the state of this conflict. What I have tried to do today is disabuse you of the notion that there are any “quick fix” solutions. But if you look close enough, you will find there have been episodes of silence on my part that was not fairly reciprocated.

Today I assure you that I will not allow any form of assault to touch me unchallenged. I will do my best to guard both Ziehan and I against cynicism and hopelessness. And I know that Ziehan and I will both stay the course; because failure is not my option.