[::.."You'll Never Walk Alone"..::]
It was something that neither of us ever expected. But as with all things in fate, when the time is right and the feeling is real, there is no stopping it. As we sat staring each other across the dinner table, watching each other in the flicker of the candlelight, we time-traveled all the way “Back To the Future” – reminiscing our yesterdays
The date was 4th March 2008 and that day dawned all to early for me. It is not everyday that someone can experience a joy as unique as the one that Ziehan and I have been sharing. From the open verandah of Villa Ginger, against the soft tranquil of the Botanic Garden, the evening was perfect, all but for the butterflies in the pit of my stomach.
To be in our mid forties and in love – I have come full circle and stopped questioning the directory of my journey. We do know however, that we can only ever give away what we have. To love another truly and completely, demands beliefs – that of ourselves and that of our future. Between Ziehan and I, we do know that this love means everything to us. And we had since agreed never to surrender our fates to them that lack the belief. This much I know – when who we are, our identity, or sense of self is determined by another person, it’s when we are weakest and most susceptible to dangers. When we allow another person to determine our happiness and our reason to live our lives by the rules of their dictates is when disaster strikes hardest.
I am prepared to learn from anyone who walks into my path and is willing to teach and share And I want to be an example to show that there is beauty in all pains and sufferings. It was here at the open verandah of Villa Ginger that I looked into the eyes of this woman, that I saw a pillar of hope and strength with also beauty and grace that belied her age. Between Ziehan Jazz and Mary Jazz, they produce combine energy enough to illuminate the initial darkness of my life with bright spark of light.
There are many facets to this man. I am a husband to two, a papa to three, a mentor to many bros, and also a social worker to my plants. Now I am also trying hard to be a survivor in part of nature’s process called ‘FATE.’ From expressing my bittersweet yearning and delicate pleas to the feeling of joy and abandonment, Ziehan knew that I have felt it all.
Against the picturesque and quaint surrounding of an Old Botanic, it was in her path that I placed my destiny. As we walked the long and winding road towards the exit, we experienced a kind of peace and tranquility that cannot be found anywhere else. It was as if GOD was with us.
Today, it reminds me that while in life there may be pain and suffering, there’s a lot of joy as well and there’s something waiting at the end of it. But before we get there, in the meantime, we have to make every day meaningful.
To these two women in my life, together we have come to realize our capacity to love as being able to allow, accept, share and appreciate each other for who we all are. What we do and what we have is called love because when we share unselfishly, together we belong, together we are part of something bigger than ourselves, and together we have the potential to blossom from strength to strength.
In the meantime, my first step to healing and recovery is to admit the truth about my painful journey. The sooner I face the truth, the easier it is for all to understand. At the heart of living my best life for whatever that remains, is to free those that I truly love from the burden of my sufferings. If I am not committed to facing reality, how can I build self-efficacy with the confidence to prevail? Like I said before - To love another truly and completely, demands beliefs – that of ourselves and that of our future – with this in mind, I know that I am perched on a solid foundation where I am best placed to inspire courage.
In the meantime, my first step to healing and recovery is to admit the truth about my painful journey. The sooner I face the truth, the easier it is for all to understand. At the heart of living my best life for whatever that remains, is to free those that I truly love from the burden of my sufferings. If I am not committed to facing reality, how can I build self-efficacy with the confidence to prevail? Like I said before - To love another truly and completely, demands beliefs – that of ourselves and that of our future – with this in mind, I know that I am perched on a solid foundation where I am best placed to inspire courage.
All Work and No Play Will Make Jazz A Dull Boy - 7:27:00 PM